Date: Dec 13 2021
Managing Expectations in Divorce
Deciding to divorce is never an easy decision and comes with a lot of emotions, stress and heartache. Divorce is different than other legal cases in that both parties are emotionally and personally invested and there really is no winner in the end. It is easy to become frustrated and disappointed during the process but the more you know before-hand and the more realistic your expectations, the smoother and less stressful the experience.
Educate Yourself on Divorce
You likely do not have first-hand knowledge of divorce and what happens during the process. If you are contemplating getting a divorce or in the beginning of one, the more you know, the more in control you will feel. Talk to friends who have been through it to get an idea of what to expect. The more you know, the more prepared you will be.
Consult with a Family Lawyer
The most important step is to consult with a family attorney. Meeting with a divorce lawyer, even if you are just considering a divorce, is the best way to learn about what will happen and the options specific to your case. One of the hardest aspects of divorce is when people set unrealistic expectations and then are disappointed and frustrated when things do not go as they hoped. An experienced attorney can educate you on the laws in your state and help you set realistic expectations for custody, alimony, child support and asset division. Divorce involves compromise, neither spouse walks away with everything they wanted.
Don’t Make Comparisons
Divorce doesn’t have a winner, but it can be civil and productive with the right mindset. It is common for us to have clients come to us and make demands that are not realistic to their case based on their friend’s experience or because it is what so-and-so got in their divorce. While it’s helpful to lean on other people who have gone through a divorce, it is important to remember that every divorce is different, therefore they can’t be compared. The outcome of one divorce is not an indication of what will happen in yours. Every divorce has its own set of circumstances and personalities of the spouses and lawyers involved. Comparing two would be like comparing apples and oranges.
Divorce Takes Time
Many of our clients are unaware how long a divorce can take. Clients want their divorce completed quickly so they can move on with their lives, unfortunately, even the simplest divorces can take months to finalize. Florida has a mandatory 20-day waiting period after filing before proceedings can happen. There are variables out of your and your attorney’s control like your spouse, their attorney and the availability of mediators and the court. Being an active participant and responding in a timely manner to requests from your attorney can assist in keeping things moving along. In reality, a contested divorce can take 12-18 months to finalize.
Learning as much as you can about divorce and what to expect can help you manage your expectations and set goals for yourself. Your attorney can provide you with options that will help you make decisions and choices that are right for you. In a divorce, the more you know before embarking on it the better equipped you will be to make the difficult life choices for your future.
At Florida Women’s Law Group, we have the experience, resources and skills to provide you with empathetic and compassionate legal service. We are here to provide legal advice and the assistance you may need throughout your divorce. We represent women just like you to help you get through this and onto a better and happier life.