Florida Women's Law Group
6 Signs You're Married To A NarcissistAuthor: Florida Women's Law Group
Date: Feb 21 2022
6 Signs You are Married to a Narcissist
Being in a marriage with a narcissist is confusing, isolating and toxic. If you are in a narcissistic marriage, you may wonder how it happened. The person you dated and thought you were marrying was charming, showered you with attention and your ideal partner. How did it all go wrong? What did you do to change it? First, you did nothing wrong except fall victim to a predator who thrives on hurting others.
In the beginning the person you met was an act, a part they were playing to make you fall in love with them. Once they feel like they have hooked you is when their real personality shows. You may have seen red flags earlier but easily dismissed them because you were so happy. Now that you are married and they are no longer that same charming person you fell in love with, their narcissistic traits are more pronounced and harder to ignore.
Do you feel as if your feelings and needs are constantly being ignored? Is there pressure to always say and do the right thing to keep your partner happy? These are common feelings of someone in a relationship with a narcissist. In order to deal with the problem, it’s important to be able to recognize the signs of being married to a narcissist.
One of the first things a narcissist does it isolate you from family and friends. They want you to be completely dependent on them and eliminate any support system you have in place. It starts slowly with them making comments that they do not like your friends or family. They point out imperfections in them, say that they are not good for you or are not supportive of you and your relationship. They are very good at manipulating you to see things their way. Before you know it, you are questioning the intentions of those around you and wondering why you are friends with them. This is all part of the narcissist’s plan to eliminate everyone from your life but them. Leaving you feeling alone, confused and unable to trust your own judgement.
For a narcissist to exist they need ego supply. This comes from having power over you and feeling superior. They manipulate every aspect of your life to gain complete control over you. Through verbal and emotional abuse, they attack your self-esteem to break you down and shatter your self-confidence. They criticize, bully, blame, lie, dismiss and guilt-trip you. Whatever they can do to tear you down and exert control over you. Everything is about them and must go their way or they pout and make everyone miserable.
If you are married to a narcissist, you likely live in a constant state of confusion and self-doubt. The number one manipulation tactic of a narcissist is gaslighting. They use words to make you doubt yourself and your reality. Something that you know is true they will distort and deny until you start to believe you were wrong and what you thought wasn’t true. It is a form of emotional abuse that involves lying, denial and twisting of the truth to confuse you and make you think you are going crazy. They make you believe that the problem is you and that you do not remember things correctly. You end up not trusting yourself, your judgement or your instincts.
A narcissist is never wrong and can never accept responsibility for their actions. They will blame you for everything even if you were not directly involved. Something you did made them behave in a certain way or say mean things. They will never apologize instead making you feel like you are always wrong and always to blame. Every argument will end with you taking the blame even if you are not at fault. They are very good at twisting words and situations to make them the victim and paint you as attacking them.
No Regard for You
A narcissist only cares about themselves. They look at everything for what is in it for them and how they can benefit. This leaves little room for your feelings or needs; they are of no importance to them. You are left feeling unheard, dismissed and invisible in the marriage. Through criticism and insults they hold you down while boosting their own self-esteem, making them feel powerful.
Walking on Eggshells
Everything is about them and keeping them happy. You will find yourself and even your children, putting your needs to the side to ensure the narcissist is happy. If things do not go their way or you challenge them everyone pays. They get angry, abusive and withdraw to punish you. They are experts at the silent treatment when they do not get what they want. Over time you will say and do whatever it takes to make them happy to not suffer their wrath. You are constantly walking on eggshells trying to not upset them in anyway.
Being married to a narcissist is exhausting and soul crushing. Their demands and need for constant attention are overwhelming. The relationship leaves you feeling insecure, angry, sad, resentful, confused and alone. They rarely admit that they are wrong so there is little chance that they will change their behavior. Their emotional abuse can really take a toll on your mental health. If you are in a narcissistic marriage, it is a good idea to seek therapy to help you establish boundaries and figure out whether to stay or leave.
There is a way to successfully get out of a marriage to a narcissist. The most important step is to have a plan. It is not easy to divorce a narcissist but with proper planning it can be done. At Florida Women’s Law Group, we have experience dealing with narcissists and know how to beat them at their own game. We can help you successfully get out of this relationship and start a healthier and happier life.