Florida Women’s Law Group is the only divorce and family law firm for women, by women, in Northeast Florida. Every week, women come to us describing relationships marked by emotional manipulation, control, and chronic blame-shifting. We’re sharing this guide to help you recognize red flags, protect your well-being, and plan your next legal steps. We pair lived experience representing thousands of women with established behavioral science from trusted organizations. Below are six common patterns our clients describe. If several resonate, you may be dealing with narcissistic traits—or Narcissistic Personality Disorder—and it’s time to prioritize safety, documentation, and a strategy.
But First: What is a Narcissist?
In everyday conversation, the word narcissist often describes someone selfish, arrogant, or controlling. But in psychology, the term has a specific clinical meaning.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a recognized mental health condition in the DSM-5-TR (the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), which defines it as an enduring and rigid pattern of:
- Grandiosity (an inflated sense of self-importance or superiority)
- A constant need for admiration (seeking praise and validation from others)
- Lack of empathy (difficulty recognizing or caring about the feelings of others)
These traits go beyond ordinary selfishness. To meet the clinical threshold, the behaviors must:
- Be consistent over time
- Be inflexible across situations
- Cause significant distress or impairment in relationships, work, or other vital areas of life
It’s imperative to note that not everyone with narcissistic traits has NPD. Many people may show narcissistic behaviors without meeting the criteria for a formal diagnosis. In this blog, we use “narcissist” the way many women describe their partners, highlighting recognizable patterns of manipulation, control, and emotional abuse. Whether or not your husband has NPD, if his behavior consistently makes you feel diminished, unsafe, or “not yourself,” that impact is real and worth addressing.
Identifying Factor #1: He Must Be Admired, And Will Curate a Perfect Image
Narcissistic behavior often centers on a preoccupation with constant admiration, status, and superiority, with a focus on how things appear to others. In clinical terms, this aligns with traits like grandiosity and a persistent need for praise.
What it looks like at home:
- Public charm, private criticism
- Social media perfection
- Pressure for you and the kids to “perform” so his image never cracks
Identifying Factor #2: Empathy is Missing; Entitlement Fills the Gap
A hallmark of narcissistic pathology is a lack of empathy paired with entitlement. This may look like rules for you, but exceptions for him.
What it looks like at home:
- Your needs are “too much”
- Your feelings are “overreactions”
- His wants always outrank family needs
Identifying Factor #3: Control Creeps Into Money, Time, And Decisions
Emotional abuse frequently includes coercive control, which are tactics that restrict your autonomy and keep you dependent (financial control, monitoring, isolation). Public-health authorities include psychological aggression and controlling behaviors within intimate partner violence (IPV). Financial control can escalate into coerced debt or identity-based economic abuse.
What it looks like at home:
- Scrutinized spending
- “Allowances”
- Secret accounts
- Tracking your phone/car
- Dictating schedules, holidays, and childcare without collaboration
Identifying Factor #4: You Doubt Your Memory Because of Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where a partner manipulates you into questioning your perception of reality. It often starts subtly—denying facts, rewriting history, calling you “crazy”—and over time erodes self-confidence.
What it looks like at home:
- Using phrases such as “That never happened” or “You’re too sensitive”
- Moving goalposts so you’re always “at fault”
- You feel confused or “foggy,” a reaction common in gaslit relationships and a sign to seek support
Identifying Factor #5: Your Circle Shrinks Because He Isolates You
Isolation is a classic control tactic within IPV; cutting off friends, family, and community increases dependency and makes leaving harder.
What it looks like at home:
- Saying things like, “Your mom is toxic” or “Your friends are jealous”
- Picking fights before you see loved ones
- Sabotaging your work schedule
Identifying Factor #6: Nothing is Ever His Fault
Chronic blame-shifting and retaliatory anger (“narcissistic injury/rage”) are consistent with narcissistic patterns where the self-image must stay perfect at all costs. While the internet often misuses these labels, the clinical frame is consistent: persistent patterns that cause distress and impairment over time.
What it looks like at home:
- Every conflict becomes your fault
- Apologies are rare or weaponized
- Boundaries prompt sulking, threats, or smear campaigns
What to Do Next
- Keep a log of incidents, screenshots, and financial records in a secure location (cloud drive with a new password or a trusted third party)
- If you fear escalation, call or chat the National Domestic Violence Hotline for confidential support: thehotline.org or 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
- Plan your exit strategically because narcissistic partners often escalate when control is threatened; legal guidance helps you sequence steps (housing, finances, custody) to minimize risk
- Talk to a women-centered lawyer early, remembering that a consultation does not obligate you to file, but it does give you options
You Don’t Have to Face His Manipulation Alone
These patterns of manipulation and control can play out in negotiations, custody disputes, and even in the courtroom—where charm and deception may be used against you. That’s why Florida Women’s Law Group focuses solely on representing women. We don’t just prepare the legal arguments; we prepare you for the tactics your husband may use, giving you both the strategy and the support to protect your rights, your children, and your future.
If the signs in this article resonate with you, trust your instincts. Many of our clients have felt the same way before taking the first step. Contact us today to schedule a confidential consultation and begin building a safe, smart path forward.
Additional Sources
Psychiatry.org - What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
Psychiatry.org - What are Personality Disorders?
Narcissistic personality disorder: MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia
