Throughout my years of practice, I have found that men and women go through divorce differently. Women, whether it’s their choice or not, are more emotionally driven in their decision-making. The emotionality of a marriage breakup takes a toll on them. Men can handle a divorce like a business transaction, remove the emotion, cut through to the financials, and negotiate as they would at the table of a large economic negotiation, without regard to the emotional ties to their wife and children.
For women to even the playing field and begin to get a fair shake in the realm of divorce, they must play like men. There are three things that can help, and all women need to do when approaching divorce.
1. Do Not Share
When I say, “Do not share”, I mean do not tell your husband you’re contemplating divorce. Do not tell your husband that you saw a divorce attorney. Do not tell them that you are about to file for divorce. The reason is, you have a strategic advantage with the element of surprise. It is important in many situations to use that advantage to its maximum ability. That is why sharing the imminent divorce proceedings can end up putting you at a disadvantage and putting you on the defensive.
“The best offense is a good defense.” If the opposition is aware you are filing for divorce, they may decide to seek counsel first. This can lead to a disadvantage from the start. Your husband may contact the reputable attorneys before you have a chance to decide who you would like to retain. There will be ramifications of getting the best attorneys in town conflicted out. That is one of the reasons why we represent only women. Therefore, your husband can’t take us out of the case. Believe me, if they could, they would.
2. Think Smart
By that, I mean surround yourself with the right advice so that you can make intelligent decisions. When you are embarking on a divorce or are in the middle of the divorce, you are going to need to make decisions. These are difficult decisions. These are decisions about where you are going to live and how much income you need every month to survive. Decisions about the schedules of your children, when you are going to see them, and when their father is going to see them? What’s going to happen when you both start dating? How is that going to affect the children? Are you going to stay in the house? Are you not? How are the assets going to be divided?
There are a lot of decisions. The best way to prepare is to take some time for yourself to get your head straight, so that you can focus on making good decisions. A simple practice is to meditate. You can begin meditating, maybe before you go see your attorney, to give you a clear, open ability to hear what’s being said. Exercise is also a wonderful way to reduce stress and clear your mind.
3. Hire the Right Attorney
You need to investigate that attorney and understand what questions to ask. Most importantly, listen to the questions they ask you. You may find, as you meet with different attorneys, that all they do is talk about themselves. They aren’t asking you the questions that are going to determine where you’re going to end up. Are they asking you about your goals? Are they concerned about where you are going to be in three years? Your divorce settlement, trial preparation, and everything need to be premised on the basis that you are going on with your life. You need to be clear on how you are going to proceed.
If your attorney is not looking forward, you’re going to end up with a short-term result that you may regret in the future. You need to develop a strong working relationship with your law firm. As women, we have great intuition. Have that intuition. Maybe ask to meet some of their staff. The best law firms are going to have more than one attorney. You may find that one will be a junior associate and the other a senior associate. That’s good, that’s what you want. You want to have that tier of representation. You will also want to meet the paralegal. You’re going to talk to the paralegal—a lot. It is important that there is a staff member working for you because if someone is sick or on vacation, your case will not be affected.
Contact Our Team at Florida Women's Law Group Today
Please consider these top 3 things that will help you begin to level the playing field. If our team at Florida Women's Law Group can help you with your divorce, please do not hesitate to contact us. We will be happy to consult with you and determine if it’s the right choice.
