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Political Differences In A Marriage

Author: Florida Women's Law Group
Date: Sep 20 2021

Political Differences in Your Marriage

To say that the political climate in the United States right now is extremely divisive is an understatement.  I do not know if there has ever been a more charged, polarizing divide between Democrats and Republicans than now.  It’s hard enough if you disagree with friends, co-workers or family but what if it’s your spouse?  Can you find common ground when you are on opposite sides of the political spectrum?

People naturally change as they age and gain more life experience.  It is not uncommon for political views to change as well.  When you first married you may have had similar political thoughts but over the years you may find that either yourself or your spouse has changed political perspective.  The last few years have been a challenge and couples that were once solid my find themselves at a standstill when it comes to politics.  Here we discuss ways to get through your political differences.

Respectful Conversation

The first step is to have an open and respectful conversation with your spouse.  I read somewhere to be curious instead of furious and I think that is such a good perspective to have when entering a political discussion.  Ask your spouse why they feel a certain way about the topic.  Listen with respect and don’t judge or criticize what they are telling you.  It is important in any relationship to be a good listener and let the other person express themselves.  If you disagree with what they say it is not time to counter-attack, you could simply say you understand how they feel, and you see things differently.  In political situations, you can learn a lot by talking with someone who has different opinions than you.

You Won’t Change Their Mind

If you enter a conversation thinking you are going to change their mind or prove how wrong they are, you are setting yourself up for an explosive argument.  There are certain things that people feel very strongly about, and you are not going to change their mind on it.  Each of you are entitled to have your own opinion even if they are different.  Respect your partner’s perspective, you don’t have to be identical in every way. 

Shaming with Articles

Do not inundate your partner’s email inbox with articles that support your point of view.  Don’t show up at dinner with op-eds or articles from your favorite news source to prove they are wrong.  This is a recipe for disaster.  Not only will they not read them they will resent you for attacking them. 

Watch Your Language and Tone

If you talk to your partner in a condescending tone or with negative language you are looking for trouble.  If you ask “how could you possibly think” or “you can’t really believe that” you are not entering the conversation with respect or an open mind.  If your partner used those same phrases with you, it would just make you angrier.  Being respectful means being a good listener and not throwing shade when they say something that is different than what you think.

Political Generalizations

It seems as if one of the biggest issues between both parties is that people often assume that if you support a candidate that you also possess all the qualities of that politician.  No one likes every, single thing about another person.  I’m sure there are things about your spouse that drive you crazy.  The same is true for political candidates.  Because your spouse may support a different politician than you it doesn’t mean that they agree with every thing they say or believe.  You probably don’t agree with everything your party stands for either.

There are distorted views from each side of the aisle.  When you really talk and listen to your partner you may find they you agree about more things that you think.  Each party has extremists and it’s likely that your partner is somewhere in the middle.

Agree to Disagree

You may have to agree to disagree.  Your marriage is much bigger than politics.  It may end up being something you disagree on, and it probably won’t be the only thing.  In life and a long marriage, is political affiliation really the most important aspect?  Think about how your partner makes you feel and how they treat you.  Is it really worth ending a marriage over politics?  A president is in term for four years, but a marriage can be for a lifetime. 

If any conversation you have with your spouse turns to criticism, disrespect or insults it can cause serious damage to the relationship.  If the marriage becomes volatile or dangerous it may be time to seek therapy or consider separating.

Wherever you stand in your political beliefs, if you and your spouse disagree, Florida Women’s Law Group can help you as you try to work through it.  We are here to provide legal advice and assistance you may need.   At Florida Women’s Law Group, we represent women just like you to help you get through this and onto a better and happier life.


Florida Women’s Law Group